My Conversion Story
by Melanie Sullivan
January 1, 2011
Sunday, January 24th, 2010 was a special day for our family as well as the entire Shelley Stake when Elder Dallin H. Oaks, member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, came to speak to our stake center. To shake the hand of a man so obviously filled with the spirit of God was truly a spiritual moment for our family. He spoke about the youth and the importance of making healthy choices in their lives. He spoke about keeping hope in a time of turmoil. He encouraged all of us to strengthen our families and community through active faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.
I first heard about the church when I was sixteen when I started dating an inactive LDS boyfriend (my dear husband). At the time I thought the whole idea of a church being led by a prophet on the earth today was kooky. I thought the idea that a 14 year old boy from New York state could have been a prophet of God was ridiculous. In fact, at the time I wasn't even sure God existed at all and I certainly questioned the truthfulness and accuracy of the Bible.
Over the next 10 years, I searched for spirituality in my life. I went to many different churches, read many different books on spirituality and theology including parts of the Bible, and came to no clear conclusion. At the age of 24, I finally picked up the Book of Mormon and began reading. As I read the Introduction, yes, the Introduction, I was powerfully overcome with the Holy Spirit. As I read, my eyes welled up with hot tears which rolled down my cheeks and I felt an exquisite peace in my whole being I had never felt before. Suddenly, with my whole heart and mind and body, I knew this book was true. Out loud and without fore-thought I said; "Oh, no! Now what am I going to do?"
The way I was living my life at the time was a far cry from "clean." I smoked, drank, cussed like a sailor and was living in sin with my boyfriend. To top it all of, I was not at all interested in changing. Not at all. But I knew in that moment that Joseph Smith was a prophet of God as sure as I knew there was a God. I suddenly knew that there was a true prophet on the earth today. I also knew it sounded wild and absurd...but when the Holy Spirit speaks to you, it cannot be denied.
Over the next two years, I read both the Bible and the Book of Mormon which again confirmed their truthfulness to me. I took what is known as "Moroni's Challenge" found in the Book of Mormon, Moroni, Chapter 10, Verse 4, which reads:
"And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost."
Despite having a testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel, I still did not understand what was so bad about drinking and smoking and cussing and living with my boyfriend. I reasoned: "I'm not hurting anyone! I'm a good person!" But I didn't realize that I was hurting myself and my future husbands' spiritually. It took me getting married and planning our first pregnancy to realize the powerful significance of living a clean life.
When we started trying for a baby, I stopped smoking and drinking just like that. It was relatively easy because I had always planned to do so when I became pregnant. Despite trying to give up smoking seven times in the years before, this time it was truly easy. Quickly, I realized why my health was so important. I realized why I should live a clean life - because I only have this one! Why would I ingest poison on purpose? Why would I send the Holy Spirit away on purpose by becoming intoxicated? It all suddenly made complete sense to me. My old ways made no sense anymore. Living clean is logical. Simple as that.
Soon after Kelsi was born, I was baptized (I couldn't wait!) and a year later Todd and I were sealed in the Oakland Temple for time and all eternity (we couldn't wait!). Through our faith and positive actions, our lives have become all that we had hoped they would be and much more. We have been incredibly blessed. I was judgmental and stubborn and fearful of putting my faith in God until I found the truth. Over the past 14 years, my testimony has grown with every experience and I am profoundly grateful to my Father in Heaven and to my brother Jesus Christ for being ever patient with me and for speaking to my heart that day and every day there after.
I am also profoundly grateful to my Relief Society sisters for always making me feel welcome, for accepting me (flaws and all), for encouraging me (even when I doubt), and for being the best examples of imperfect perfection I know.
With much love and gratitude,
Melanie Sullivan
